Temporary Permanence

While I’m open to the fact that it might just be today’s thing – and while I admit that it may have been some other day’s thing if not yesterday or even the day before – but maybe a whole month ago and maybe that’s not frequent enough to make an ACTUAL change…I don’t want to be in this job anymore. I have a lot of very convincing arguments for staying. They are such strong, nice arguments. They keep me afloat even. They’re not worth ignoring or being flippant about. But today my body is just begging and begging me to get out. Just. Get. Out.
Tomorrow I will reevaluate, contemplate, assess. Maybe. Tomorrow is a half day though and I’ll be off to Rhode Island for Thanksgiving, where I will eat far too much and remain horizontal for long periods of time (hopefully). Perhaps when I come back I will have a mouthful of ready smiles which I will distribute like candy samples. And there will be a short month ahead of me before Christmas break at which point I will maybe head home crosseyed and with empty arms. I’ll return to Chicago with my back to the New Year, slipping into it and pretending I didn’t know it was behind me. Keep walking backwards like something miraculous will happen, like walking backwards will somehow lead to surprises that I was hoping for and not a hole in the ground.

Fall

Perfect