Subtext Much?

This note was attached to a recent donation to the costume shop and I sort of love it:

To the Costume Shop,

This rabbit jacket belonged to by daughter. I am not sure why she bought it or if she even wore it. She is a vegan now, so she has no use for it. Perhaps it can accessorize a prostitute costume.

Age and Burkas

My coworker was applying her makeup at her desk this morning and had this to say:
“I just put mascara in my hair. Honest. There’s a big blob here. You know? I’m for burkas. I mean, this getting old thing. You can be young and walk around and all that, but wouldn’t it be nice, when you get old, to be able to throw that thing on? I mean, we can just cover it up and work on our minds.”